Harison Xavier

 Goals for 2024 : First Car, New Job, Gym, Marriage, New Location, New Me,   Prepare for World War 3 19/01/2023 "New Year's Eve I was sleeping , exactly midnight the firework started. I lost my sleep, went out, saw the city on fire in all directions, enjoyed the fireworks, went back to sleep. Intentionally didn't make any goals list this year as I couldn't achieve most of my goals of last year.  Few of my goals last year were:  Buy my first car, New job Hit the gym Get married Move to a new location Make more conversation with people Make friends  Pet a dog, pet a cat. Travel more They were all time specific goals with micro steps with the guidelines of experts. The goals list was much longer than this, but I did achieve a few like,  new job, traveled more (35 cities) , hit the gym and a few other that's not in the list.  Last year all I did was work, worked without a break and at the end there is nothing to show. Feels empty. I did wish to just stop a...

  28/12/2023 I must write something about this year 2023. Writing this out of the blue without any proper thinking or preparation. Just putting things down as it comes to me, no editing or proofreading.  This might help me laugh in the future. 2023 killed me psychologically, all I did was work all the time, everyday. If I was not working, just spending time alone. This year, I specially tried making friends but failed for the most part, got better in making conversations. Wanted to travel more, I did travel to few many cities and I liked it, did wanted to travel more and wished if I could be with my friends. At the end of the year I lost or missed everyone. Most of them moved, some forgot, some didn't care, in short life happen. Is it true that as we get older its hard to make friends?  Failed The years 2021 and 2022 was mostly very productive, worked on new things and made a lot of money. I was so happy about making money, but there was that void of not having my friends...

Time  Yeah.....here we are. Five years...... "The Following Are Just Random Thoughts In My Head" It started as a hobby and still is. When I started I never knew where this is going to lead. Thank you for all the time I got to write, I am happy I did what I can. One thought in my mind, " So much lonely time". Most of of these post take more than two hours to write as I need to think and then I will need to keep the draft to think again wondering if I need to post it or just delete it, I debate with myself and then I got a friend who often proof reads every single line and correct my mistake  (she works for free and I have not paid her anything. I must pay her something).  Often I tell myself "Get a life." I should have done something else. Now I don't know why I write. Just want to write down all the debate I have with me. I wish I had a friend to talk to and discuss about life and everything under the stars and including stars.  Forgot how to make a fr...

  He stood there still, like a stone pillar, he froze in time as he got the news, felt like the world is moving around faster. He will not be promoted to a permanent position this time and he must leave the job as his contract ends. He started thinking about his time at the job,  was on time every single day,  got along well with every coworkers, he was the best employee of the month several times, he proved back to back that he could handle the most stressful tasks, he did the jobs that nobody else wanted to do. He have showed great amount of dedication and commitment to his job.  He did everything he can. Or did he? Where did he go wrong? Why did it happen? Why was he not chosen? Why did they throw him out?  He requested his manager to extent his contract and he will work twice as hard and can do better than he did already,  The manager replied, they love to keep him and he is so good but the situation at the moment is very hard and they need to give his ...

  I am at the finish Line Father I have sinned.  Put me back in Line I am being skinned.  I worked hard I learned hard I lived hard I failed hard. Don't let them kill me I got more in me Fight with me Win with me. Forgive me O Lord I have sinned Forgive me O Lord I am pinned. I failed a million time Let me win from this time The war is here Be with me near. Lost everything Be my King You are my only string Take me to the spring Forgive me O Lord I forgot your sword Fought the battle alone Broken my bone. Forgive me O Lord I am ashamed in me Be with me Me let glee.  Let me win Let me grin Let me shine I am at the finish line. 

  We will meet soon bro... Sid texted.  Jim knew that will be the last time he will hear from him. It happens again, another friend is moving away. Now Jim will have more time alone in the dark. Made good memories, traveled together. Lived moments together. Jim had a great time with his friends including Sid. They all dreamed that one day they all will be stetted in this huge metropolitan city, Everdrive. They walked these streets together and enjoyed the time. Jim remember once Sid pointed out to a skyscraper and said Bro, you see that corner office on that 43rd floor, that will be my office in next 2 years.  Two years went by and Sid is moving way, life is unpredictable. Jim tried to think about the last time he saw him. Jim dearly wished if he could be with his friends and just sit together and talk, he wanted to experience that sense of belonging to a team. Before moving Sid had borrowed money from Jim and never returned, Jim didn't ask the money back, so did Neil, be...

 March 27 2022 I remember this day, I was sitting in a nearby park, listening to music and getting some Sun light. At that time, I was smiling at myself, wondering how beautiful it is to get some sunlight after a long time. Working long hours endlessly without any break or dayoff, I wish I was free. I was surprised that as simple as sitting out for some sunlight is able to make me so happy. Watching people go by at the park, birds, squirrels and rabbits.  I sat there for an hour, I wished if I had someone to talk to, couldn't make any friends. All the people I know are coworkers with their own life, I wish I was a part of something important. I wish I was needed. Just sitting there enjoying the Sun and the beautiful music of nature is good enough, would been better if I had a soul to talk to. But that's life. Be happy with what you have. Enjoy the precious moment.      Present Day -  October 12th  2023 Life is not bad, happy, alive, surviving, wish it ...

  Just thoughts in my brain I noticed this pattern, in the past few months, I have visited 4 museums, I don't know why, but when there is a museum around, I try go visit. Even more strange is that most of them are not free. I am mostly frugal when it comes to spending money for leisure, travel for vacation, entertainment, or eat outs; I try to avoid them all. Why do I visit museums? It's just odd. Am I lost? Why am I interested in the past? What am I doing?  Am I searching for myself? Am I soul searching?  Or rationally thinking... I am just lonely and drifting from places to places without a meaning. Lots of pictures loading down below......  Potteries museum and art gallery  I wish to take great pictures but this was taken from my phone, I didn't care about posting this but when I think about it now, I thought, let it be, why not. When I go back to the pictures, I wished I gave a little more attention to the history so that I could have told you better on the ...

Photo by kiyana on Unsplash Charlie & Barry Miller two young and ambitious lads dwelling in the  late 20th century terrace house with their working class parents. Life has its good and bad days, yet they were happy in their tiny house, with their neighbors. Charlie is the eldest and Barry is five years younger, they have a good childhood comparing to others at that time.  One fine day as they were playing on the streets, they saw two kids walking towards their direction, they were coming back from a nearby shop. Charlie recognised them they are Julia and Jill, they moved in recently to the neighborhood, they are posh kids from London, they never talked or played with Charlie and Barry, even though Charlie tried playing with them, they always found a way to avoid  him. Charlie often stood close by when they played say they had three bicycles at home and Charlie's family had none. Charlie hoped that someday they might invite him to try riding a bicycle. He al...