Incomplete Love Letter | Short Story

 

Santiago moved to Madrid 6 months ago. He has high hopes for his future and he is working hard to achieve his dreams to become a scientist researching plants. Living in Madrid is expensive for him as he is from a poor family. So he works in his research laboratory in the morning and he works at a restaurant during the evenings. He worked all 7 days.

All the long hours started taking a toll on him. He couldn't spend time with people. He didn't make new friends.

He wanted to start a family but couldn't meet anyone. He was brought up in a strict Catholic family and he never drank or smoked. Hence he was not invited to any of his colleague's parties. Even if they did he kept working. Days kept on passing, and a year went by, and he have not made much progress in his research. He lost motivation. Young Santiago is alone in a big city. Trying to make ends meet. 

He is average, turning fat and old and his sorrows don't matter, pain didn't matter. Sorrow and depression are given care and consideration celebrities common men like Santiago don't matter, they don't exist.

After a few more months he was able to make a breakthrough in his research. He was able to find the answers he was Looking for. He was appreciated by his team and research head. He went out of the laboratory to take a fresh breath and relax. All his sacrifices have paid off and he was successful.

He went to the part near the lab, he sat on a bench, he felt like crying after sitting there. He called his mom and dad and explained to them the results he made in his research, but they didn't understand him much and replied that's nice. How much money did you make last month? Came the next question.

He remembered he didn't make much financial gain with the research and the job at the restaurant. He hung up. He wanted to share his happiness with someone close but they didn't understand him. He called his close friend, it's been a while since they talked as they were both busy and had their own lives. 

He tried again to explain his story of happiness, but his friend too couldn't understand him. He just wanted to open up and share and there isn't anyone. He lost his ability to make new friends, he felt like a background actor in a movie. He felt like he doesn't exist. 

He went back to his apartment, he didn't go to the restaurant that day. He just lay in his bed. Trying to figure out what is the meaning of all this. Suddenly he opened his eyes hearing a knock on his door. He was confused, nobody knocked on his door before. Nobody came to his room before and nobody knows where he lives.

He opened the door, it was a girl, she wanted help with switching on the gas stove in her kitchen. He has never seen anyone else in the building as he leaves early and comes back late. He went to the kitchen and showed her how to do it. He got attracted to the new girl who just moved in. He wanted to ask her name but was too scared to do so.  He went back to his room. He felt something inside, love at first sight? he knew what it was but he suppressed it successfully as always. He is too weak he falls for every girl.

He feels it whenever he meets a beautiful girl.

Days passed, and he met her again in the hallway. Santiago tried going into his room as soon as possible to avoid any awkward moments. She said hola, and he replied hola back. Days went by. Again so small moments like before. One day he saw her smoking in the backyard, he felt sad. She is very beautiful and seeing her smoking made him somewhat worried about her. The next time he met her, he gathered the courage to ask her name.

Marina she replied.

She has very beautiful eyes. Her voice sounded beautiful to him, it was the sweetest voice he have ever heard. All of a sudden her presence became a light relief to him. Every day he looked forward to seeing her. He didn't want her to feel him as a creep. He kept his feelings to himself. He talked to her for a few minutes only at a time. He thought he will slowly be friends with her and then as her out someday. Marina worked at a bank as an intern. She was busy too. Her job made her stressed out most of the time. 

A few months passed by still Santiago couldn't get to ask her out. One day he saw her smoking in the smoking area as usual and it was very cold. They said hi to each other and had a small conversation about the weather and life. Out of nowhere, she asked her if she is interested in going out for a coffee. She said it was cold and she has to change her dress. He replied she looks fine, how about we go for a walk in the park. She replied no. She is feeling very cold. He said okay that's fine. 

She then asked Santiago for his number. 

He was surprised. It was the first time a girl ever asked his name. She said she will text when she is free. Santiago got very happy. He was thrilled and he felt a fresh cool breeze inside his chest. A few days went by, and he didn't get any messages from her. So he texted her and asked if she would like to go for a coffee. She viewed the message but she didn't reply. He waited for a few more days and texted, again, but she didn't reply.

Painfully he understood that she might not be interested in him. He felt sad now he is back to his old lonely life. The light got dimmer.  A few more months passed by and Marina went back to her hometown for vacation. Santiago didn't get any vacation he have jobs and responsibilities to meet. Santiago got used to his long shifts and he moved on with his life. He completed his research. Immediately after that, he got a job at a company. He kept working hard every day. He still couldn't make any new friends. Life went on. He met people and talked with them but nothing changed, he was invisible as always.

At one point he fall sick and was bedridden. He thought to himself, At one point he thought, if he died today there would be nobody at his funeral, nobody will cry, nobody will miss him. He wanted to cry and he couldn't. He hid all his feelings and emotions.

 One day he saw Marina again at his building, his heart started beating, he still had feelings for her. He thought not to talk to her. But she said hi, he replied hi and he left.  He didn't want to get hurt again. Days passed they met a few more times and they said hola to each other and went their own ways. 

One day Santiago thought to write a letter explaining his feelings for her and gift a few flowers and chocolate with it. He started writing a letter for her.

He started explaining from the moment he met her, pouring all his feelings into a sheet of paper. He knew he liked her more than he ever thought. He remembered her beautiful mesmerizing eyes. He wanted to explain more in the letter.

He spent a few days writing the letter and re-writing the letter. He wanted to make it short and explain everything to her in the most romantic way. He bought 3 different chocolates and then picked up a few flowers, then he thought we should buy flowers but later he changed his mind because it won't be fresh by the time he finish his letter and give it to her, a few more days went by and he is still writing and rewriting. He made a target to give the letter.

Few more days went by...

"Today is the day"... He said to himself, he made his mind up to give the letter to her today. Something inside started beating fast, it was his tiny heart. The adventure, the fear and the excitement, he smiled. He told himself again, today is the day. He bought a few red roses, and he imagined her smiling when she gets these roses. The letter is still incomplete a bit more to write. A few final words. He went to his flat, on the way he saw her at the usual place but.....there is someone else with her ....they are smoking together, he felt heavy inside, the guy turned to her and kissed her on the lips.

He turned back and walked away fast. He was feeling something heavy inside him and pulling him to the ground. He wanted to cry but he couldn't. He started laughing, didn't know why he laughed....he was too slow.... somebody else reached her first.. he laughed again thinking about all the things he bought for her.  

He went back to his flat, he didn't have any more time to think about it and grieve. He has to get back to work. The show must go on. He has responsibilities. As he closed his room, he saw his incomplete letter and the roses on the table. 

" We don't think about the terror of one person,

acing in one place, alone, untouched, unspoken to, 

watering the plant,

being without a telephone, that will never ring, 

because there isn't one. "

- Charles Bukowski