She untied the knot of her spinal brace belt for her back pain in the morning. I did not feel anything special as it was one or two years since I started hearing the story of this pain.
As usual, I said, let's go to the hospital. I know her pain will go away. She refused because she knows very well that I have no cash.
I have taken her to the hospital once before because I could not bear to hear her pain. Then the doctor said she needed an MRI scan.
On hearing this she was the first to come out saying that it needs ten thousand more rupees. I couldn't afford it back then too.
Then her usual dialogue was "I am in pain!! " and my usual response was "Let's go to the hospital."
Today without any hesitation she was ready to leave and I got ready too.
When we got there, the doctor wrote me some tests. When the final result came, the doctor said with a sigh that she had cancer inside her spine.
At first I did not understand what I heard. When I looked at her face I saw no particular expression there. It felt like she was expecting this.
I don’t even know if my feet are touching the ground when I return home from the hospital.
She does not seem to care or know that her spinal cord cancer is in the third stage. Somehow we got home.
Somewhere in the heart a sea of sorrow roars. Can't look at her face because of guilt. When I finally talked about going to the RCC Hospital at Thiruvananthapuram in Kerala with a crash ..
"Don't you have anything else to do? If you go down for treatment at this stage after taking the entire debt from everywhere, I'm going to go and you are going to be in so much debt that I can not pay." She went into the kitchen saying the last sentence that I was nowhere ..
To me it was like putting a weight on my chest .. When she came back to the room I went and hugged her. Releasing my hand slowly, she said,
"Is there something new today? There were so many times when I wish I could have been hugged together like this. The man who kept telling me , I am busy back then is now coming to hug me now."
"No need for any of that anymore." She left with a smile, saying, "I buried all that desire."
Yet I could not say then, that I had clung to her for me. I loved her, but I hesitated to express it.
She was always complaining so I was especially careful not to turn to that part. Then she stopped complaining too.
She also kept away from me, doing something in any corner of the house. That vacancy gave me a sense of freedom. But now the feeling that I have neglected her a lot is growing strong in me.
She's not by the edge of my bed when I go to bed today. All complaints were abandoned and she went to a place where she would never come to bother me with a single word again.
Somehow today I feel a huge emptiness in this bed. She was a big part of my life and she had to disappear for me to realize that.
Tears fill up in my eyes as I think of her. The only thing I know now is that I should have loved her a little more. That she should have been considered a little more. Because the gap in my life that existed when she was gone, that emptiness makes me very weak.
The only thing I know now is, never put aside the opportunity to love for tomorrow.
The story and characters told in it can be imaginary. But learn from the the story.
Today, many people say that the love between the two has halved due to our mobile phones. I know that there is no need to explain it further.
When I read it, it felt like a lot of people's lives, so I share
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