My Tinder Experiment | Harison Xavier

                          Openness one of the five traits of Big 5 personality model or Five Factor Model . I would say I am an average in openness maybe 45% to 65%. Openness is  openness to experience.  Most entrepreneurs are high in openness, it's a great quality to have. That's how they are bombarded with ideas, they talk to people, they brainstorm new concepts and then take action. 

I have a desire to do something by myself just like any other person. So I was on a quest to be more open to ideas, be more better communicator, try out new things to get some insights or inspiration.  

                   Year 2018 - I have been hearing about this app named "Tinder", love stories of people,  how easy it is to use, how to find your love, experiences of celebrities. I though to my self "I am 26 years old, never had a girlfriend, this would be a great opportunity to find one".

After a few thoughts, I installed it. Using it was easy, you swipe left if not interested and you swipe right if interested. So started looking for "the One". Deep down I am searching for my future wife. 

 Girls are all different here. Are they even real women? Most of the pictures of girls are like supermodels. Glamours.  I never thought Indian girls could also look as glamours as western women. 




I was looking for my potential future wife. I would love if she was a bit traditional, very soon I learned that Tinder is not the place for me. The chances of me finding my future wife is 1 to 100000.  

 I believe I have went through at least 500 pictures most of them are very beautiful and I swiped right. At least 40 percent are women are looking for short term dating or hook ups. 

What? Seriously? I never though Indian girls have reached this far. Looks like they are more open than I can ever be.

I am not a fan of the hook up culture. It's difficult to digest that its growing in a country like India, don't we have a better way of dealing with love and relationship? Why did we get so liberal?
And there are also girls who looks for a genuine relationship. 

                Anyway let me take the odds, I want to find my wife soon. I am have been waiting for so long. Where is my love of my life?  All my life I been told "God will find one for you". Looks like he forgot. Hahaha. Just kidding. I know he have a plan for me but when? Time is ticking. Friends and colleagues who are much more elder than me are finding it very difficult to get married. Once you have crossed 30 you are not that interesting to girls. I think their worry and fear have got me too. I must stop spending time with these old guys lol. 

How did I even got here? I remember when I was younger, I said to my friends I don't want to get married and I am not interested in girls. I was just shy. I didn't even dare go near one. And now I am here . 

All the shyness have gone, but still didn't know how to have a good conversation with a women. All my friends are getting married any time I open social media it's either an old classmate or a friend in town who is getting married or engaged.  I must be jealous. 




I was taught to be a good, nice, gentlemen. Be very polite, speak softly, do not show your anger, do not use profane words, do not smoke, do not drink, do not drugs, do not go to parties, do not stay out late, respect everyone, give other more preference, help people when ever possible and million more. O God!

I am such a great mama's boy. I am a walking saint. Could keep me right next to Jesus. (It was a joke. I know you didn't laugh, I'm bad at it.)

             Me being a saint and tinder was the devil. It was a complete disaster. I thought to myself are women all like this?
If women are this crazy, then how far will men go? I bet men are 10 times worse than this. 

           The other thing I wanted to say is I liked a few girls they are beautiful, reading through their bio they are interesting. But can't find exactly what they want. I tried for a week and exhausted my swipe options. I selected only the once I liked. It was time consuming. The result None. No matches . 

Okay, let's try that again, I thought to myself. This time I will swipe right all the profiles without even looking. I swiped right even for pics of dogs, cats, flowers, hills, lakes. These girls have very good humor too. Another week went by. No matches yet. 
Now that's depressing. Tried for 2 weeks and not even one. There must me some thing wrong with me or something wrong with my profile. 

                     Shouldn't I be truthful when starting a relationship?
Or is it just like marketing a product that is half good? 

What are they looking for? 
Me: 27 year old, Male, 5ft 4in, Sincere, honest, trustworthy, kind, God fearing, don't smoke, don't drink, doesn't do drugs, never had a girl friend, MBA, Business Analyst. 

Looks like they are not looking for a guy like me. I know. Nice guys are weak. I learned the lesson. Being nice makes you the worst human to hangout with. I am pretty boring. I went south. 

About me being "Nice and Weak" and how I came out of it. That's for a different blog. I will post that sometime. 

I uninstalled tinder after 2 weeks or so I believe. It's not for me. The odds are too high. A regret is I wasted a few hours exploring the digital world of dating.  

Wrong Place 

One good lesson I learned is that tinder is not  the place for me, I wish to start a family, not waste time with short term fun. 
And their it goes, all the dreams to find "The One". 

I was weak, also may have come up needy. But not anymore. I learned my lesson. I will tell that story another time. 

So what really do women want? having zero experience with women I am not able to answer that. I am not able to come out of my awkwardness. I don't even know how to talk to them.  

What do you think I should do?
What changes should I bring in? 
Am I late to the dating/marriage market?
Teach me.